WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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