i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
