How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
