Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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