So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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