she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
A+ Viking dick
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