I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
