I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
