oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
