# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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