Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
