You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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