Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
