don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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