I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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