if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
