when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
