I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
