How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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