I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
