We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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