i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize