I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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