So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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