Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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