PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
