honey bunches of taint.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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