sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
