Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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