So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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