For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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