I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
