i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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