that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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