remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
