I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
