OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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