In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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