You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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