there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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