At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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