I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
