Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
