Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I didn't notice because vodka
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
