also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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