Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
