help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
