I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
