i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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