she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
