so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
