It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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