i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
how drunk are you?
Several
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
