My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
